Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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