At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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