Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Help. Why am I so naked?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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