Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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