Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
