Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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