Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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