im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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