He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
