I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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