I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
what day is it and did you see me today?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
