I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
