all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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