Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
