Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
