Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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