I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
