I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
