In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize