i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
