True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
