she woke up with a sticky ear
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
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i would one night stand the shit outta him
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
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I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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