Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Randomize
