You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
