yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
