True but thats because hes a fetus.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
