Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
