Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Randomize
