if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
