is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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