I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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