Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
