dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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