Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
