I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
