rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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