I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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