My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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