belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
