my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I love you.
Bad choice
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