It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize