I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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