I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
