He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
she told me i tasted like america
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
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