Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
