bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
