we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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