i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
