I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize