he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize