Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize