you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
