I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
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