Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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