did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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