i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
