We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
