My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
