Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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