Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
