I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
