i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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