I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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