Whod you bang
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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