what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
